By a therapist with a soft spot for attachment theory and a healthy scepticism about January makeovers Every January we are invited—no, instructed—to reinvent ourselves. New bodies. New habits. New lives. It’s a seductive promise, usually delivered alongside a discounted gym membership and a faint sense of personal failure. But from an attachment perspective, most…
I didn’t wake up one morning and decide to run attachment training programmes for therapists. There was no grand plan, no five-year strategy, no sudden urge to create courses and qualifications. What there was, however, was a growing awareness – one that emerged slowly, quietly, and persistently -from sitting with people. At that time, my…
If you’ve ever sat with a client and quietly thought, “Ah… this is an old dance they’ve been doing since childhood,” then you’re already brushing up against one of the most elegant and compassionate models in the attachment world: the Circle of Security. Whether you’re a parent, a therapist, a supervisor, or simply a human…
Gordon Neufeld’s beautiful words offer a simple but profound truth about human development: “To foster independence we must first invite dependence… We liberate children not by making them work for our love but by letting them rest in it.” Most parents instinctively feel the wisdom in this, even if the world around them sometimes encourages…
Everything in life comes back to relationships — how we relate to others, the world around us, and, most importantly, ourselves. And in our most intimate relationships, the places where we feel most loved are often the same places where our deepest triggers show up. It’s why so many couples reach a point where they…
When most people hear the words “couples retreat,” they imagine something halfway between a spa break and a reality show — scented candles, a bit of yoga, possibly some awkward confession circles, and someone weeping into a herbal tea. What happens at a couples retreat? But the reality of a couple’s therapy retreat is something…
We are, at our core, relational beings. Wired for Connection: Attachment, Loneliness, and Love in the Age of AI We are, at our core, relational beings. From our first breath, we are wired to seek safety, comfort, and meaning through connection with others. Attachment is not a luxury of childhood — it is the survival…
When Expectation Meets Reality Therapists spend a lot of time helping clients make sense of disappointment — that aching gap between what we hoped for and what is. But if we’re honest, we’re not immune to it ourselves. We expect to feel centred and compassionate every day, to know what we’re doing, to manage our…
Signs Your Relationship Needs a Couples Retreat Every relationship goes through seasons — some warm and bright, others stormy or stagnant. That’s normal. But when the storm clouds linger or the spark feels like it’s fading, couples often wonder: “Is this just a phase, or do we need help?” Attachment theory reminds us that our…
Neuroscience: Bowlby’s Ideas Meet the Modern Brain Bowlby’s brilliance lay not only in his observations but in his ability to weave ideas from multiple disciplines into a coherent model of human connection. For clinicians, understanding these influences can provide richer insight into why early relationships are so foundational.Neuroscience: Bowlby’s Ideas Meet the Modern Brain While…