Why Attachment Therapy Needs a Somatic Approach
In the therapy room, words can only take us so far. Often, it’s the body that tells the deeper story.
When someone grows up in an environment where connection is unsafe, inconsistent, or overwhelming, their nervous system learns to adapt. These adaptations may manifest as tension in the jaw, a frozen chest, restless legs, or an inability to feel much of anything at all. We see clients who dissociate during moments of intimacy, who brace themselves even when recalling “ordinary” childhood memories, or who struggle to stay present when discussing relationships. These responses are not just habits—they’re survival strategies formed in response to early relational environments.
Attachment Theory: A Map for the Body
John Bowlby’s work on attachment theory helps us make sense of these patterns. He showed us that the drive for connection is biologically hardwired—and that when this drive is met with fear, neglect, or inconsistency, it doesn’t disappear. Instead, it reroutes. The child adapts to whatever helps them maintain some form of connection or safety, even if it comes at the cost of shutting down emotional or bodily awareness.
From this perspective, the somatic responses we see in therapy—avoidance, tension, shutdown, overactivation—aren’t just symptoms. They’re the body’s intelligent attempts to stay safe in a world that didn’t always feel safe. And they persist into adulthood, long after the original threat is gone.
Why the Somatic Approach Matters
Working somatically in attachment-based psychotherapy means we pay close attention not only to what clients say, but to what their bodies are doing—how they breathe, move, and react in the room. It means we help clients slowly build awareness of their bodily states, without overwhelm or shame. And it means we recognise that emotional healing often needs to be felt, not just understood.
Clients with avoidant attachment may struggle to notice or name sensations; they’ve learned it’s safer not to feel. Clients with anxious attachment may be overwhelmed by somatic states and need support in finding stability and containment. Those with disorganised attachment histories might flip between activation and collapse, often without warning. An attachment-informed lens allows us to hold these responses with compassion and precision.
Safety First: The Power of Co-Regulation
The therapeutic relationship itself becomes the ground for this work. Co-regulation—being with the client in a way that helps calm and anchor their nervous system—is essential. Through tone of voice, pacing, breath, and attunement, we offer a relational experience that says: It’s safe to be here. You don’t have to manage this alone.
This work is subtle, slow, and deeply relational. It’s not about applying a technique—it’s about a way of being with another person. A way that respects the body’s history, honours its adaptations, and gently invites it into new ways of relating.
Where Story Meets Sensation
When we bring somatic awareness into attachment-based psychotherapy, we create a space where story and sensation can meet—where old survival patterns can soften, and where new forms of connection can emerge.
So the question isn’t whether to work somatically—it’s how to do so in a way that honours attachment, trauma, and the profound wisdom of the body.
Are you integrating somatic approaches into your attachment work? We’d love to hear how. Want to learn more? Check out our Attachment Training
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