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Beyond Bowlby: The Roots of Attachment Theory
ByJo OxleyNeuroscience: Bowlby’s Ideas Meet the Modern Brain Bowlby’s brilliance lay not only in his observations but in his ability to weave ideas from multiple disciplines into a coherent model of human connection. For clinicians, understanding these influences can provide richer insight into why early relationships are so foundational.Neuroscience: Bowlby’s Ideas Meet the Modern Brain While…
Inviting Dependence to Grow Independence: How Secure Attachment Shapes Children — and Heals Adults in Therapy
ByJo OxleyGordon Neufeld’s beautiful words offer a simple but profound truth about human development: “To foster independence we must first invite dependence… We liberate children not by making them work for our love but by letting them rest in it.” Most parents instinctively feel the wisdom in this, even if the world around them sometimes encourages…
Why Insight Doesn’t Soothe a Dysregulated Nervous System
ByJo Oxley(And What Actually Helps Instead) There’s a familiar experience many counsellors share – often with a hint of frustration they feel they shouldn’t admit. The client understands. They can name the pattern.They can trace it back to childhood.They can explain exactly why they react the way they do. And yet… nothing changes. The same anxiety…
The Tyranny of Expectations: Finding Peace in “Good Enough”
ByJo OxleyWhen Expectation Meets Reality Therapists spend a lot of time helping clients make sense of disappointment — that aching gap between what we hoped for and what is. But if we’re honest, we’re not immune to it ourselves. We expect to feel centred and compassionate every day, to know what we’re doing, to manage our…
Isn’t attachment just about relationships?
ByJo OxleyAttachment isn’t just about relationships—it shapes how we regulate stress and emotions. This article explores how early relational experiences wire our nervous system and why co-regulation in therapy is key to healing affect dysregulation
