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The First 1,000 Days of life – Why They Matter More Than We Realise
ByJo OxleyThe First 1,000 Days – Why They Matter More Than We Realise We often talk about childhood shaping the adult self, but there’s a particular window of time – conception through to around age three – that’s quietly doing some of the heaviest lifting in human development. Neuroscientists call it “the first 1,000 days”. Attachment…
There’s No Such Thing as Naughty: Attachment and the Misunderstood Child
ByJo OxleyRecently, I’ve been watching my little angel, aka sausage, my two-year-old granddaughter, navigate the enormous transition of becoming a big sister. It’s been a front-row seat to the sibling dance: the tug-of-war between love and curiosity, excitement and jealousy, all wrapped in a tiny body with even tinier words to express it. There have been…
The Circle of Security: What Parenting Teaches Us About Therapy (and Why It Matters for Counsellors in Training)
ByJo OxleyIf you’ve ever sat with a client and quietly thought, “Ah… this is an old dance they’ve been doing since childhood,” then you’re already brushing up against one of the most elegant and compassionate models in the attachment world: the Circle of Security. Whether you’re a parent, a therapist, a supervisor, or simply a human…
When You Feel Useless, Bored, Anxious or Pulled to Rescue
ByJo Oxley(Why Your Reactions Matter More Than You Think) There are moments in therapy we rarely speak about openly. Moments when you feel oddly flat.Restless.Anxious.Pulled to reassure or fix.Quietly ineffective. These reactions can feel uncomfortable – even unprofessional. We’re trained to focus on the client’s internal world, not our own. And yet, attachment-informed practice asks us…
I Didn’t Set Out to Train Therapists -I Just Kept Saying Yes to What Mattered
ByJo OxleyI didn’t wake up one morning and decide to run attachment training programmes for therapists. There was no grand plan, no five-year strategy, no sudden urge to create courses and qualifications. What there was, however, was a growing awareness – one that emerged slowly, quietly, and persistently -from sitting with people. At that time, my…
There Is Always a Child in the Room
ByJo Oxley(Even When the Client Is 58) At some point in attachment-informed practice, many counsellors have a quiet realisation. The client sitting in front of us may be an adult – articulate, capable, reflective – and yet something else is present too. A fear that feels too big.A longing that feels strangely young.A reaction that seems…
