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There’s No Such Thing as Naughty: Attachment and the Misunderstood Child
ByJo OxleyRecently, I’ve been watching my little angel, aka sausage, my two-year-old granddaughter, navigate the enormous transition of becoming a big sister. It’s been a front-row seat to the sibling dance: the tug-of-war between love and curiosity, excitement and jealousy, all wrapped in a tiny body with even tinier words to express it. There have been…
The Tyranny of Expectations: Finding Peace in “Good Enough”
ByJo OxleyWhen Expectation Meets Reality Therapists spend a lot of time helping clients make sense of disappointment — that aching gap between what we hoped for and what is. But if we’re honest, we’re not immune to it ourselves. We expect to feel centred and compassionate every day, to know what we’re doing, to manage our…
This is just how I’ve always reacted
ByJo OxleyIt’s a common phrase in therapy—but it’s not the truth. Stress responses aren’t fixed traits. They’re learned patterns shaped by early attachment—and they can be rewired through relational healing
Listening to the Body: Why Attachment-Based Therapy Needs a Somatic Lens
ByJo OxleyWhen connection feels unsafe, the body remembers. In attachment-based therapy, somatic awareness helps us understand nervous system patterns rooted in early trauma. This article explores how integrating body-based work deepens healing for clients with insecure or disorganized attachment
There Is Always a Child in the Room
ByJo Oxley(Even When the Client Is 58) At some point in attachment-informed practice, many counsellors have a quiet realisation. The client sitting in front of us may be an adult – articulate, capable, reflective – and yet something else is present too. A fear that feels too big.A longing that feels strangely young.A reaction that seems…
