“The way we were treated as small children is the way we treat ourselves the rest of our lives, and we often impose our most agonising suffering upon ourselves.” — Alice Miller (1987, p.133)

By a therapist with a soft spot for attachment theory and a healthy scepticism about January makeovers Every January we are invited—no, instructed—to reinvent ourselves. New bodies. New habits. New lives. It’s a seductive promise, usually delivered alongside a discounted gym membership and a faint sense of personal failure. But from an attachment perspective, most…

When most people hear the words “couples retreat,” they imagine something halfway between a spa break and a reality show — scented candles, a bit of yoga, possibly some awkward confession circles, and someone weeping into a herbal tea. What happens at a couples retreat? But the reality of a couple’s therapy retreat is something…

Attachment isn’t just about relationships—it shapes how we regulate stress and emotions. This article explores how early relational experiences wire our nervous system and why co-regulation in therapy is key to healing affect dysregulation

Decoding Attachment: The Surprising Ways Early Experiences Shape Our Stress Response  As counsellors and psychotherapists, we witness firsthand how early attachment experiences leave lasting imprints on the mind and body. But what if we told our clients that these early relationships literally shape their brain’s wiring—especially when it comes to stress? Understanding the neuroscience of…

How Oxytocin Supports Breakthroughs in Therapy As counsellors, we see first-hand how attachment wounds shape our clients’ struggles. But beyond theory, there’s a biological side to healing too—our brains are wired for connection, and neurochemicals play a vital role in the therapeutic process. Oxytocin, often called the “bonding hormone,” is key. It’s released through safe,…