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New Year Resolutions – Old Patterns: The Challenge of Change Through an Attachment Lens
ByJo OxleyBy a therapist with a soft spot for attachment theory and a healthy scepticism about January makeovers Every January we are invited—no, instructed—to reinvent ourselves. New bodies. New habits. New lives. It’s a seductive promise, usually delivered alongside a discounted gym membership and a faint sense of personal failure. But from an attachment perspective, most…
Inviting Dependence to Grow Independence: How Secure Attachment Shapes Children — and Heals Adults in Therapy
ByJo OxleyGordon Neufeld’s beautiful words offer a simple but profound truth about human development: “To foster independence we must first invite dependence… We liberate children not by making them work for our love but by letting them rest in it.” Most parents instinctively feel the wisdom in this, even if the world around them sometimes encourages…
This Is Not Just a Request for Attention. This Is a Protest Against Disconnection: A Therapeutic Reframe from David Wallin
ByJo OxleyWhat if “attention-seeking” is actually a protest against disconnection? Explore David Wallin’s powerful reframe of client behavior through the lens of attachment theory—and how it can transform your therapeutic presence
The First 1,000 Days of life – Why They Matter More Than We Realise
ByJo OxleyThe First 1,000 Days – Why They Matter More Than We Realise We often talk about childhood shaping the adult self, but there’s a particular window of time – conception through to around age three – that’s quietly doing some of the heaviest lifting in human development. Neuroscientists call it “the first 1,000 days”. Attachment…
5 Signs It’s Time to Renew & Reconnect in Your Relationship
ByJo OxleySigns Your Relationship Needs a Couples Retreat Every relationship goes through seasons — some warm and bright, others stormy or stagnant. That’s normal. But when the storm clouds linger or the spark feels like it’s fading, couples often wonder: “Is this just a phase, or do we need help?” Attachment theory reminds us that our…
