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Ever noticed how some people seem to stay calm in a storm, while others go into full fight-or-flight?
It’s not just personality—it often comes down to attachment. Yep, the stuff we usually associate with childhood has a big say in how our adult brains handle stress. Attachment theory tells us that our early relationships shape the way we connect with others—and how safe we feel doing so. That sense of safety (or lack…
Why A Renew and Reconnect Couples Retreat Works Better Than You Think
When most people hear the words “couples retreat,” they imagine something halfway between a spa break and a reality show — scented candles, a bit of yoga, possibly some awkward confession circles, and someone weeping into a herbal tea. What happens at a couples retreat? But the reality of a couple’s therapy retreat is something…
Behaviour Is Never the Problem: It’s the Clue
There’s a moment many counsellors recognise, even if we don’t always say it out loud. A client does the thing again. And somewhere inside us – usually quietly, a thought flickers: Why does this keep happening? It’s often at this point that behaviour starts to feel like the problem. We might dress it up in…
There Is Always a Child in the Room
(Even When the Client Is 58) At some point in attachment-informed practice, many counsellors have a quiet realisation. The client sitting in front of us may be an adult – articulate, capable, reflective – and yet something else is present too. A fear that feels too big.A longing that feels strangely young.A reaction that seems…
Beyond Bowlby: The Roots of Attachment Theory
Neuroscience: Bowlby’s Ideas Meet the Modern Brain Bowlby’s brilliance lay not only in his observations but in his ability to weave ideas from multiple disciplines into a coherent model of human connection. For clinicians, understanding these influences can provide richer insight into why early relationships are so foundational.Neuroscience: Bowlby’s Ideas Meet the Modern Brain While…
When Clients Say “I Don’t Know”
(And Why That’s Not Resistance) There are few phrases that can quietly derail a therapy session like this one: “I don’t know.” And often, something happens inside the therapist. We might feel momentarily stuck.We might try another angle.We might gently probe, rephrase, offer options. Or – if we’re honest – we might wonder whether the…
