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Repairing What Was Never Repaired
ByJo Oxley(Why This Is Where Attachment Work Truly Lives) There’s a common misconception in therapy that change happens in moments of insight. A realisation lands.A pattern makes sense.A link to childhood becomes clear. These moments matter – but in attachment-informed work, they’re rarely where the deepest healing occurs. That happens somewhere else entirely. It happens in…
The Client Who “Overreacts”
ByJo Oxley(A Nervous System Doing Its Job) There is a particular kind of moment in therapy that can catch even experienced counsellors off guard. A client reacts strongly – suddenly, intensely, and in a way that feels disproportionate to what’s just happened. A raised voice.Tears that arrive without warning.A sharp withdrawal.A look of panic, shame, or…
Listening to the Body: Why Attachment-Based Therapy Needs a Somatic Lens
ByJo OxleyWhen connection feels unsafe, the body remembers. In attachment-based therapy, somatic awareness helps us understand nervous system patterns rooted in early trauma. This article explores how integrating body-based work deepens healing for clients with insecure or disorganized attachment
The Circle of Security: What Parenting Teaches Us About Therapy (and Why It Matters for Counsellors in Training)
ByJo OxleyIf you’ve ever sat with a client and quietly thought, “Ah… this is an old dance they’ve been doing since childhood,” then you’re already brushing up against one of the most elegant and compassionate models in the attachment world: the Circle of Security. Whether you’re a parent, a therapist, a supervisor, or simply a human…
The Truth About Avoidant Attachment: Why Distance Doesn’t Mean Disinterest
ByJo OxleyThe Truth About Avoidant Attachment: Why Distance Doesn’t Mean Disinterest One of the most common misconceptions about avoidantly attached individuals is that they are emotionally detached and uninterested in connection. This assumption can lead to frustration, misunderstandings, and even a communication breakdown. We see this frequently in couples therapy. The Myth: Avoidant Clients Are Emotionally…
When Clients Say “I Don’t Know”
ByJo Oxley(And Why That’s Not Resistance) There are few phrases that can quietly derail a therapy session like this one: “I don’t know.” And often, something happens inside the therapist. We might feel momentarily stuck.We might try another angle.We might gently probe, rephrase, offer options. Or – if we’re honest – we might wonder whether the…
