“The way we were treated as small children is the way we treat ourselves the rest of our lives, and we often impose our most agonising suffering upon ourselves.” — Alice Miller (1987, p.133)

(Why Developmental Thinking Changes Everything) There’s a quiet assumption woven into much therapeutic work:that if we stay present-focused enough, insight and change will follow. For many clients, this is true. But for others – often those with early relational trauma – something essential gets missed when therapy remains anchored only in the present. These are…

If you’ve ever sat with a client and quietly thought, “Ah… this is an old dance they’ve been doing since childhood,” then you’re already brushing up against one of the most elegant and compassionate models in the attachment world: the Circle of Security. Whether you’re a parent, a therapist, a supervisor, or simply a human…

(And How Not to Panic) There are moments in therapy when something shifts suddenly. A client who was reflective becomes overwhelmed. Tears escalate quickly.Words disappear.The room feels tighter, louder, more urgent. And inside the therapist, a familiar response can arise: I’ve lost them.This is too much.I need to do something – now. This is often…

How Oxytocin Supports Breakthroughs in Therapy As counsellors, we see first-hand how attachment wounds shape our clients’ struggles. But beyond theory, there’s a biological side to healing too—our brains are wired for connection, and neurochemicals play a vital role in the therapeutic process. Oxytocin, often called the “bonding hormone,” is key. It’s released through safe,…

Detecting and Unlocking Hidden Attachment Patterns  In the ever-evolving landscape of mental health and psychotherapy, attachment-based psychotherapeutic counselling is emerging as a transformative approach to healing relational wounds and fostering emotional resilience. By detecting hidden patterns of insecure attachment through observable client behaviours and neurobiological cues, we gain profound insights into how past experiences shape…