“The way we were treated as small children is the way we treat ourselves the rest of our lives, and we often impose our most agonising suffering upon ourselves.” — Alice Miller (1987, p.133)

Can music be more than just background noise? For many, it becomes a lifeline—an emotional surrogate offering containment, regulation, and a sense of presence. This post explores how music can act as a secure base in the absence of safe attachment figures, grounded in both personal experience and therapeutic insight

The First 1,000 Days – Why They Matter More Than We Realise  We often talk about childhood shaping the adult self, but there’s a particular window of time – conception through to around age three – that’s quietly doing some of the heaviest lifting in human development. Neuroscientists call it “the first 1,000 days”. Attachment…

Borderline Personality Disorder is often met with fear in clinical spaces—but through the lens of attachment theory, we see not manipulation, but survival. This piece reframes BPD with compassion and grounded therapeutic insight

Gordon Neufeld’s beautiful words offer a simple but profound truth about human development: “To foster independence we must first invite dependence… We liberate children not by making them work for our love but by letting them rest in it.” Most parents instinctively feel the wisdom in this, even if the world around them sometimes encourages…

The Truth About Avoidant Attachment: Why Distance Doesn’t Mean Disinterest One of the most common misconceptions about avoidantly attached individuals is that they are emotionally detached and uninterested in connection. This assumption can lead to frustration, misunderstandings, and even a communication breakdown. We see this frequently in couples therapy. The Myth: Avoidant Clients Are Emotionally…

How Oxytocin Supports Breakthroughs in Therapy As counsellors, we see first-hand how attachment wounds shape our clients’ struggles. But beyond theory, there’s a biological side to healing too—our brains are wired for connection, and neurochemicals play a vital role in the therapeutic process. Oxytocin, often called the “bonding hormone,” is key. It’s released through safe,…