“The way we were treated as small children is the way we treat ourselves the rest of our lives, and we often impose our most agonising suffering upon ourselves.” — Alice Miller (1987, p.133)

Borderline Personality Disorder is often met with fear in clinical spaces—but through the lens of attachment theory, we see not manipulation, but survival. This piece reframes BPD with compassion and grounded therapeutic insight

Gordon Neufeld’s beautiful words offer a simple but profound truth about human development: “To foster independence we must first invite dependence… We liberate children not by making them work for our love but by letting them rest in it.” Most parents instinctively feel the wisdom in this, even if the world around them sometimes encourages…

Attachment-Based Therapy Isn’t “Too Abstract”—Here’s How Neuroscience Makes It Practical  If you’ve ever dismissed attachment-based therapy as too abstract or “theoretical,” you’re not alone. It’s easy to feel that way when terms like secure attachment, internal working models, or attachment styles are thrown around in ways that sound more academic than actionable. But here’s the…

(Why Developmental Thinking Changes Everything) There’s a quiet assumption woven into much therapeutic work:that if we stay present-focused enough, insight and change will follow. For many clients, this is true. But for others – often those with early relational trauma – something essential gets missed when therapy remains anchored only in the present. These are…

(A Nervous System Doing Its Job) There is a particular kind of moment in therapy that can catch even experienced counsellors off guard. A client reacts strongly – suddenly, intensely, and in a way that feels disproportionate to what’s just happened. A raised voice.Tears that arrive without warning.A sharp withdrawal.A look of panic, shame, or…